Stop Setting Goals....

Being completely frank about myself (to myself), I never "really" set goals when it comes to my hobbies. I think that's part of the beauty of having hobbies. They are anxiety-free, leisure activities I don't have to worry about failing. I do them for fun and push myself only when I want. Ironically, I often feel like I am more willing to push myself to perform my hobbies than work. I think I do this because, at my core, I have a problem with authority - but that's a different story altogether. Or maybe it's because I feel like there is real freedom in not worrying about my contribution. Take that however you want. As in a contribution toward work, other people, or life in general. Selfishly, I feel the need to pull back out of "the system" and take a deep breath. I focus on friends, family, and sometimes nothing at all. When I'm running, hiking, or biking, I am in the moment. It's a zen experience for me to be able to focus on my heart-beat, the road/trail, or just reflect on social situations. I do the latter a lot. I'm not really good with interpersonal interaction. Or, if I am, it's because I work hard at it - and that's just the kind of stress I need to escape, at times.

Sometimes friends offer the right kind of escape. Friends that you trust and who do not judge. I recently redefined my understanding of trust. I used to think trust was telling someone something and relying on them to hold that information in confidence. I thought that offering something personal about myself to be safe-guarded by someone else was the quintessence of trust. This is true to a point. But trust in friendship is a process whereby you can trust someone else to accept you for who you are. You rely on them to be their-self; both without judgement. Reciprocation is key. If I'm being honest, I believe there are many people you can trust with holding personal information in confidence. However, that doesn't mean there is no judgement nor does that make two people good friends. Friendship is about acceptance and this kind of trust is rare. At least it is for me. I'm 30 years old and only put all this together recently... I'm not sure if that fact is a really good thing or if it's just sad... Either way, it is what it is and I'm just happy I know.

To me, a perfect day consists of doing things I like with the people I care about. Sounds obvious, right? Unfortunately, that hasn't always been so simple for me. I mean, how much time do we think that's what we're doing when we're really just trying to fit in? One way I differentiate the two is by asking myself what I'm trying to get out of my interactions? If I have placed goals on the situation other than having a good time, chances are it's not candid. At the very least there is no solace in it - now there's a word! I mean, how can I be content if I'm placing expectations on my social interactions? So I don't set goals like that. It's like my hobbies. I might work hard at them, but it's because I genuinely want to. No pressure. Combine hobbies and friends and, to me, you have true solace. Oh, and setting goals is fine. I guess what I'm saying is something like, "don't miss the forest for the trees."

So happy to have friends, family, and hobbies to share.